People it's just sad. I cannot rally. I ended up pulling a really lame excuse and watching episodes of New Girl until I passed out because JUST the thought of going out a second night in a row made me exhausted.
In college we drank every single night of the week...and at the very least we were going out three to four nights a week. Now you have to pay me to go out two nights in a row, it has to be a special occasion, or I won the lottery and buying drinks for errrbody. Since those things RARELY happen, one night a week is my max (and sometimes that is pushing it).
For all you young kiddos out there though, don't think this won't happen to you...it sneaks up on you too. I was the last person to see this coming and here is how it happens.
1. So you graduate college, you can still drink Four-Lokos, Natty Light, and shots of Burnettes vodka...so you do just that on the weekends. It is more depressing now since you are not in college but it's the only thing you know how to do.
2. You have graduated and gotten a job after college (hopefully). You find it absolutely exhausting to go out after you have just worked an 8 hour desk job so you start only going out on Friday/Saturday and the occasional Thursday happy hour with friends.
3. You realize your friend group has gotten A LOT smaller than it was in college mainly because you are becoming bitter about the real world and started hating things. Also because your friends are just as tired as you are during the week and everyone goes home and gets on their couch.
4. Then in a blink of an eye...a Friday night comes along and you aren't "just living for the weekend" you start living for a bottle of wine and a bag of popcorn on your couch..
5. You start to notice that an absurd amount of your friends are getting engaged/married/having babies and it makes you notice how SINGLE you are...so you are back at it...dressed to the nines and going out both nights of the weekend, trying to rally more friends to grab drinks after works, etc
6. You realize that you cannot drink like you use to and make the sweeping deceleration - at least once, if not twice - a weekend that you are never drinking again..
7. You decide you need to try some new bars, you're over the ones you have been going to and these new bars will be the key to your success and happiness. You also start ordering better drinks, maybe you order fancier liquor, cocktails instead of a shot, or you switch to craft beer instead of your go-to budlight, etc
8. Since you have been trying new bars and more expensive drinks you are back to going out one night a week...it is too expensive now with the cab, drinks, late night food..
9. Your friends start either skipping out on going out at night because they are hanging out with their boyfriends/fiancees/significant others OR worse they want to bring them out with them. Girls night + the BF is NEVER a good idea...
10. You look around at the bar you are at and you feel like the oldest or ugliest one there...you realize how much you miss your pajamas, blanket, and dog at home...it's 12:30 AM and your feet are killing you and you actually take a seat at the bar..it's time for you to go home...you are old.
That, my friends, is the ten stages of going out in your 20's. Now I guess it is possible that this will not happen to everyone, some people age quicker or slower than others. However, if you are 26+ and you can still go out 2 nights in a row and not regret it...you need to teach a class cause the rest of us out there are dying.
Cheers to Netflix and red wine...
