That time I only drank juice.

So because I literally jump on pretty much every bandwagon that has ever existed, it was only a matter of time before I tried a Juice Cleanse. I searched around and found one that was (sort of) in my price range and seemed manageable. I ended up with Karmic Fix 
(this is in no way a review, promotion, or blast of Karmic Fix, it’s more of rant from a basic white girl doing a juice cleanse).

So instead of going day by day and telling you how angry I was for 3 straight days every hour on the hour. I will just summarize the 72 hours of my juice cleanse because let's be honest after the first hour of doing a juice cleanse time is a blur.

But first let me introduce the juices, Karmic Fix gives your 6 juices for each day which from what I researched was a lot and to me 6 juices during the day seemed a heck of a lot better than the 3 juices other companies were offering!

7am 

Blueberries, Strawberries, Cherries, Banana, Spinach, Flax, and Chia Seeds  

What a way to start the day, after drinking this I literally thought I could conquer anything. Each day I would wake up, chug this juice down and would head to work, thinking to myself alright this juice cleanse isn't so bad!

10am 

Kale, Celery, Cucumber, Dandelion, Parsley, Cilantro, Ginger, Lemon, Apple 

All right not my favorite. Manageable though but I HATE cilantro and parsley so I knew I wasn’t going to like this one but after not consuming anything all morning but drink #1 I was ready for something!

12pm 

Carrot, Ginger, Turmeric, Pineapple, Orange, Cucumber 

Now this is where I caught on that this was going to be a tough couple of days because I didn’t like this drink either – it had CHUNKS in it. Big chunks of pineapple or carrots or something that when plugging my nose and drinking this juice it was quite disturbing to feel a big chunk of something hit the back of your throat.

3pm 

Kale, Parsley, Celery, Lemon, Habanero Pepper, Apple and Mustard Greens

Every day this drink made me really really angry. See that bolded ingredient – I mean are you kidding me?? So get this…this drink is called Spicy Kick and it does just that! It literally burns the back of your throat, it doesn’t taste great either so you take a big gulp – your throat is on fire you take another big gulp to calm it down and then your throat is on fire again – repeat until your drink is gone and you are searching for water. Out of all the drinks – I drank this one the fastest. I see what you did there Karmic, I see what you did there.

5pm 

Date, Banana, Cacao, Himalayan Salt, Vanilla, Cinnamon, and Hemp Protein

 Holy heaven! Okay not heaven but a sweet relief after the others were painfully disgusting. I actually looked forward to this one. 
I don’t know if there is anyone else out there that gets off of work and after a day of sitting at a desk... in a chair... staring at a computer is totally and completely famished but I am – like "cut off an old lady in line at wawa and not think twice about it" famished. Yeah so this drink is the "drive home drink" that helps me deal with the traffic and the idiot drivers on the road, it actually tastes good and has a sweet chocolately flavor!

Alright side note because I know you are thinking already this doesn't seem that bad or that hard– well let me be the first to say I had to cheat every day! Hear me out I always packed an emergency bag of carrot sticks in case the stomach rumbling got too out of control or if my hanger was out of control for the workplace. 

However, the fix does advise that if you feel you need to eat something do so, fresh veggies, almonds, raw fruit are all encouraged. So when I got home at night and wanted nothing more than a large juicy cheeseburger and French Fries I would cut up some tomato and cucumber and make a salad or have a side of sautéed zucchini and squash; while my boyfriend proceeded to finish off a Bertolli for 2…by himself. So sue me that I couldn’t stick to the ALL juice diet – but talk to me after you do a three day cleanse…if you’re still alive! (currently writing this while on day 3 sorry for the dramatics, let me grab a carrot stick and calm down!)

7pm 
Watermelon, Strawberry, Cucumber, Lime, Triphala Tea

I loved this drink, so after I cheated and had my all veggie dinner this was the perfect dessert – I mean it wasn’t brownie sundae perfect but it was sweet, light, fruity and I would drink this drink really slow or over ice so that I would forget that I was hungry until I went to bed. Which ended up being like 9:45 or 10pm every night because they encourage you to get lots of sleep (OR to stop thinking about how hungry you are!!)

Overall it was the worst three days of my life, just kidding, sort of. 

It was fine, would I do it again, NO. 

Am I glad I did and can check it off my bucket list, YES!

If you’re thinking about doing a juice cleanse, don't. You can find several articles that give you good hard data against doing this that I completely ignored because I am stubborn and pig headed about things.

So if you are like me and MUST do one; 

• I recommend you search around and find the right one for you. 
• I recommend that you read the ingredients in the juices before blowing your entire savings account on a juice cleanse (because that is how expensive they are!) 
• I recommend you do it with a friend, a co-worker or a family member - someone who can commiserate with you so that you aren’t going at it alone!
• The final thing I recommend is to not talk to anyone about it, seriously! Listening to someone talk about a juice cleanse is downright miserable. Remember this is something you wanted to do; you are doing it by choice. No one is forcing you to only consume liquids…you chose to do this. 

Now do you feel stupid? Cause I sure as heck did.

Lastly, remember this isn't an easy way to loose weight, it takes a lot of focus, hard work, and willpower and isn't all that good for your body. So before thinking "hey I really wanna loose five pounds I will do a juice cleanse" remember you are about to deprive your body of what it needs and cause you some serious embarrassment with all the stomach rumbling that will happen!

The only positive is that I got a lot more steps on my Fitbit because I was walking to and from the bathroom peeing SO MUCH!

Cheers to never drinking juice again…well until I make a cranberry vodka