I didn't text you... vodka did...

Drunk texting..the white girls bread and better..I don't think there is anything in the world that I am better at and that is pathetic because it is the WORST thing ever..

The late night hit up after I have had too many beers, one too many vodka sodas, or worse after I drink wine - but really any combination of alcohol - makes me think and believe with my whole heart that texting an ex, a random hook up, or honestly any boys name in my contacts is a BRILLIANT IDEA. I then wake up in the morning with not only a slight (sometimes more than slight) hangover but the sickening feeling that I did something DUMB last night.

In college I "mastered" the drunk text. Cause right before I would go to bed after a night of drinking I would delete ALL MY TEXTS. This was genius cause I woke up with absolutely no recollection of any of the texts that were sent the night before. However, I did have a slight fear of who all I could have texted and what I could have said to them..but that usually went away after the first round of mimosas or hearing the other stupid things my friends did ( andddd I went to Lynchburg College..doing stupid things while you were drunk was practically a major).

So, this past weekend (Labor Day Weekend) where drinking excessively is pretty much required - I hit up not only of my ex's, but TWO. Winner winner over here. not. I guess I should say I did not hit up my ex's but the 7 draft beers I had at a happy hour on Friday did. Whoops.

THE BEST part of this whole thing is that I have gotten so lazy and un-creative at booty texting that I literally say "hey" - wow Alex wow. BUT let me tell you something people, it is a 100% effective. I think boys are completely baffled by this and curious of what I am trying to say. You can also tell I am getting too old to booty text because I texted each of them while laying in bed soooo as soon as I texted them I passed out - thank goodness cause lord knows where I was going to go after "hey"...

I wish Apple (or whoever creates emojis) would create an emoji that pretty much says "sorry I didn't text you the liquor did" but until now I will keep sending this picture the morning after..

Until next time...