I seriously need a leash..

Well Happy Monday Ladies and Gents, believe it or not I am actually incredibly happy that it's Monday. I know that seems out of character for me but it's only because I needed this weekend to be over. Saturday night was one for the books and quite honestly after this weekend I needed the fresh start that comes with a Monday morning. So I will fill you in on all the details of my unbelievably intoxicated Saturday night.

Let me preface this story with the fact that we are currently in "Sliz It Up September" - now I am not proud of this, but the background story of this month is that it seems that I always am newly single at this time of year which allows me to have a few rebounds to clear my..um..head. So I had that in mind as I proceeded to pregame Saturday night with about 5-6 shots of Vodka, with beer chasers of course. I may vomit right now. Anyhow we continue to get weird, wet, and wild and I decide that Saturday night I was going to be British..yeah..you read that right - complete with my terrible but what I believed at the time was an impeccable British accent, which through out the night would come and go. Saying things like "cheerio porkchop", "you American's are so strange", telling people I was in an exchange program, called one of my best friends Hitler..seriously people I need to be on a leash.

I wish that was the worst of it but no..sadly..I also went to the bathroom with a few of my friends, because girls MUST go to the bathroom together, and while we were in the bathroom I was under the impression that the entire bathroom must be silent..as I do not remember this situation very well, my good friend did a fabulous impression the next day where I was banging on bathroom stalls and "sshhh"-ing everyone. I cannot imagine the dirty looks I got from the gals in the bathroom. While in the stall..with two of my other friends..I made my one friend chug the rest of her beer and then dropped the beer bottle in the toliet and stated "you gotta do what you gotta do, let's roll"...people who am I?

Now another strange aspect of the night was that their was a bride and groom there, who had come from their wedding so in dress and tux and of course in my beyond intoxicated state I decided I MUST be friends with them. My friends and I actually got a picture with the bride, she introduced me to her single and extremely tall brother..well that was a mistake..I can't even go into all that was done to him but that poor soul, he never saw me coming. The Bride also announced to me and my friends that she was going to Amsterdam for her honeymoon, well of course, what any drunk acquaintance would do - I insisted that she smoke a lot of weed while she was there and warned her that her husband would smoke too much so she needed to keep an eye on him...I repeat I need to be put on a leash.

And of course if that isn't enough, I can't end the night without drunk texting at least a thousand people so that I can wake up Sunday morning with the ultimate shame hangover. So last time the booty-text was "hey" this week was a little more aggressive "come here" ..let me tell you something people.."come here" is a fun one, the responses you get to this text are pretty hilarious. I won't give you all the dirty details because of course I did text one or two which I immediately regretted. But hey what are you gonna do..

Of course the night is all a blur, I only know these stories because one of my extremely generous friends decided to stay sober so she could drive us, I even insisted on paying for our "taxi ride" back to our apartment . She came over the next morning and told us all about the night that we had because the rest of us blacked out hard and I mean hard.

Pretty sure I should give up alcohol for good..

                          

and this is pretty much sums up how I felt Sunday Morning..

Until Next Time...